We have now been in Hawaii for 17 days...ahh, the sun and warmth has penetrated my soul and I feel warm all over. It will be hard for me to return to the cold and snow next week.
Tolan and I just spent the last couple of days at the Marriott Ihilani. It is a beautiful hotel and our room had a large lanai overlooking the ocean. We spent hours talking, eating and looking at the ocean and listening to the waves. It doesn't get any more perfect than that. Even when it rained today, we enjoyed the surroundings. Outside our room were ponds, one with sting rays, the other full of hammer head sharks. The grounds were exquisite and the lagoon bays were picture perfect.
I feel stronger and healthier now than I have in over a year. Tolan and I went out each day for "power walks" and we went all over the property and shore walkways. We explored, talked and enjoyed the scenery, stopping to check out the tide pools and bays. Yesterday we laid on the beach and read books...and slept on the beach! So relaxing and wonderful!
This is truly a paradise, and for me, it has been rejuvenating in so many ways. I hope to go home feelings stronger and better than ever! My love to all!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
. . . . . . . . Mary and CHRISTMAS
Have you ever taken a moment to think about what it must have been like for Mary, the mother of Jesus, when she first looked into the stable and saw her “room” for the night? Unlike the clean tidy straw and the perfect cradle-shaped mangers we have in our modern-day nativities, the stable Mary saw was likely musty, dirty, filled with flies and a variety of unclean animals. Yet, she knew when she saw that spot for the first time that it would be the place of something holy and miraculous, despite its current imperfections.
As a mother who preferred a clean hospital room to a stable, I believe it would have been disheartening and difficult to have such conditions. Surely Mary would have preferred the warmth and comfort of a room in the inn, but being an obedient, faithful, daughter of God, she humbly accepted the opportunity of motherhood and took her place in the stable. In order for her child, the literal son of God, to descend beneath all of mankind, so, too, did Mary, as she laid down amongst the animals for the sacred birth.
But being receptive to her calling, Mary did not see her condition as a trial, but as a blessing which allowed her to become a mother.
LDS Church scholar Susan Easton Black said that from the scriptures we learn, Mary’s son, Jesus, inherited “the physical, mental, and spiritual traits of his parents—one, the glorified God; the other, a worthy, blessed mortal woman.” Could Mary have had such blessings without experiencing the trials in her life?
Jesus was our perfect example, and he learned much at the hand of his righteous mother, yet even He had to suffer pain, injustice, beating and eventual death before His mortal mission was fulfilled. He knew suffering, though He did no wrong. We, as imperfect mortals, cannot hope to escape life without a bitter swallow here and there.
The amazing truth that Jesus Christ knew is that our trials are not meant to torture us or beat us down but are blessings meant to allow us opportunities for learning, growth and miracles!
This has been a year of many miracles for me and my family. We feel so blessed to KNOW the truth about our Savior, Jesus Christ, and to have been blessed by Him and our Heavenly Father. As we say Merry CHRISTmas this year, know that we mean it in the core sense of the word. May you be blessed with the spirit of CHRIST this season. May you have faith, hope, love and miracles surround you. May you serve others as He did and learn what the pure love of Christ is all about this CHRISTmas.
I love you all, more than you know. Thank you for making my whole year a season of CHRISTmas.
As a mother who preferred a clean hospital room to a stable, I believe it would have been disheartening and difficult to have such conditions. Surely Mary would have preferred the warmth and comfort of a room in the inn, but being an obedient, faithful, daughter of God, she humbly accepted the opportunity of motherhood and took her place in the stable. In order for her child, the literal son of God, to descend beneath all of mankind, so, too, did Mary, as she laid down amongst the animals for the sacred birth.
But being receptive to her calling, Mary did not see her condition as a trial, but as a blessing which allowed her to become a mother.
LDS Church scholar Susan Easton Black said that from the scriptures we learn, Mary’s son, Jesus, inherited “the physical, mental, and spiritual traits of his parents—one, the glorified God; the other, a worthy, blessed mortal woman.” Could Mary have had such blessings without experiencing the trials in her life?
Jesus was our perfect example, and he learned much at the hand of his righteous mother, yet even He had to suffer pain, injustice, beating and eventual death before His mortal mission was fulfilled. He knew suffering, though He did no wrong. We, as imperfect mortals, cannot hope to escape life without a bitter swallow here and there.
The amazing truth that Jesus Christ knew is that our trials are not meant to torture us or beat us down but are blessings meant to allow us opportunities for learning, growth and miracles!
This has been a year of many miracles for me and my family. We feel so blessed to KNOW the truth about our Savior, Jesus Christ, and to have been blessed by Him and our Heavenly Father. As we say Merry CHRISTmas this year, know that we mean it in the core sense of the word. May you be blessed with the spirit of CHRIST this season. May you have faith, hope, love and miracles surround you. May you serve others as He did and learn what the pure love of Christ is all about this CHRISTmas.
I love you all, more than you know. Thank you for making my whole year a season of CHRISTmas.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
. . . . . . . . Top 10 Reasons
Jodi's Top 10 Reasons to Be Grateful for a Brain Tumor
10. The "IV" only diet guarantees you will lose at least 15% of your body weight in just 5 weeks!
9. You can experiment with short and long hair styles on the same day.
8. If you forget someone's name, you can blame it on your missing brain.
7. People can call you metal head, air head and fat head without offense.
6. You can play the "Brain tumor card" to get out of any assignment at work or church.
5. You can be on the cutting edge of eye patch fashion trends.
4. You can sit around and watch movies all day and call it "recovering".
3. You are not only allowed, but encouraged to eat "whatever sounds good" to you.
2. When people call you "crooked" you can take it as a compliment.
1. Miracles are no longer scriptural terminology, but daily events!
There are always reasons to be grateful! My love and gr'attitude to all of you!
10. The "IV" only diet guarantees you will lose at least 15% of your body weight in just 5 weeks!
9. You can experiment with short and long hair styles on the same day.
8. If you forget someone's name, you can blame it on your missing brain.
7. People can call you metal head, air head and fat head without offense.
6. You can play the "Brain tumor card" to get out of any assignment at work or church.
5. You can be on the cutting edge of eye patch fashion trends.
4. You can sit around and watch movies all day and call it "recovering".
3. You are not only allowed, but encouraged to eat "whatever sounds good" to you.
2. When people call you "crooked" you can take it as a compliment.
1. Miracles are no longer scriptural terminology, but daily events!
There are always reasons to be grateful! My love and gr'attitude to all of you!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
. . . . . . . . Gr'attitude
Today I feel truly blessed to be right where I am. I don't mean just physically, (though I am so grateful to be here in Hawaii!), I mean in every way. I am grateful to be where I am, who I am, with the challenges and struggles that are my own. I would not change them for anything. A crooked smile and physical handicaps are a small price to pay for the blessings that have been mine on this amazing journey.
This week as I was preparing to speak at the PCC, the thought occurred to me that perhaps gratitude should have been a contraction, a combination of the words GREAT and ATTITUDE. That is just what it takes to be able to be truly grateful for all that we have in life, both the good and the "bad". We must exercise this gr'attitude in order to turn any situation into a good one. (Be like "Polyanna" and play the Glad Game. :)
On our flight here Sunday, our airplane broke down, which caused a 5-hour delay, before we took off on the 7-hour trip. We had already boarded and were prepared to take off when the announcement was made and we all unloaded the plane. My kids were moaning from the start. I looked at them and told them that there is no point in getting mad at something that is beyond our control, whether brain tumors or broken planes, we can still make the best of it if we try.
And so that is exactly what we did. My parents pulled out the games, I withdrew the snack bags from the bag pack, and we played, all afternoon. :) We received meal vouchers so we went and had a big meal and were able to purchase lots of snacks for the flight. A very kind gentleman took my little ones on a cart and rode them around the airport as they exclaimed "Aloha, we're going to Hawaii." It was actually a very good day and the children did remarkably well considering we left for the airport at 9am and didn't arrive at my parents' home in Hawaii until 2am Utah time.
So, was it a trial or blessing that our flight was delayed? It all depends on your perspective, and of course, your gr'attitude. :)
This week as I was preparing to speak at the PCC, the thought occurred to me that perhaps gratitude should have been a contraction, a combination of the words GREAT and ATTITUDE. That is just what it takes to be able to be truly grateful for all that we have in life, both the good and the "bad". We must exercise this gr'attitude in order to turn any situation into a good one. (Be like "Polyanna" and play the Glad Game. :)
On our flight here Sunday, our airplane broke down, which caused a 5-hour delay, before we took off on the 7-hour trip. We had already boarded and were prepared to take off when the announcement was made and we all unloaded the plane. My kids were moaning from the start. I looked at them and told them that there is no point in getting mad at something that is beyond our control, whether brain tumors or broken planes, we can still make the best of it if we try.
And so that is exactly what we did. My parents pulled out the games, I withdrew the snack bags from the bag pack, and we played, all afternoon. :) We received meal vouchers so we went and had a big meal and were able to purchase lots of snacks for the flight. A very kind gentleman took my little ones on a cart and rode them around the airport as they exclaimed "Aloha, we're going to Hawaii." It was actually a very good day and the children did remarkably well considering we left for the airport at 9am and didn't arrive at my parents' home in Hawaii until 2am Utah time.
So, was it a trial or blessing that our flight was delayed? It all depends on your perspective, and of course, your gr'attitude. :)
Friday, December 18, 2009
. . . . . . . . . A Near Perfect Day
Thursday was as close as it comes to a perfect day. The sun was shining from early in the morning and at first, the air was still. You could see beauty all around and hear birds chirping, equally happy at the amazing day.
As my Mom and I went to the PCC for the meeting in which I gave my talk, I honestly thought that there can't be a more beautiful place on the Earth. The Polynesian Cultural Center grounds are simply stunning and more like paradise than just about anywhere else. The meeting, a PCC Christmas meeting on gratitude, was absolutely wonderful. All of the speakers and performers were fantastic. I was brought to tears many times throughout the meeting, feeling the CHRISTmas spirit in the words and music. I feel so blessed to have been there.
I spoke directly following a DVD presentation - a DVD that was created for me by the good people at the PCC when I was in the hospital over the summer. Watching it was both difficult and good for me, but it made it hard for me to stand with dry eyes. My remarks were also on gratitude, and seeing that I have so much to be grateful for this year, I could have gone on forever, but then the audience wouldn't have been happy, so I kept it to about 15 minutes. :)
I couldn't possibly keep my emotions in check on this one, but it was OK and seemed to help them understand a little more from my perspective. We tried to get some pictures of the event that I will post later. Overall it was a great meeting and I was honored to have been a part of it.
Later in the day I took the boys back to the PCC and we got shaved ice and played some games. I love it there. I could stay all day, just walking around, enjoying the beauty.
After that, the kids wanted to go to the beach, so their uncles, Michael and Brandon took us to Castle Beach, where they helped teach the kids to boogie board. (They offered to give surf lessons, but my guys were a little gun shy when they saw the waves.) After much time sitting on the side watching, I decided I would attempt to get in.
I had to go in without eye protection and I was worried about getting salt water in my eye, but the conditions were just right so Michael and I paddled out on boogie boards and rode the waves for a while. Then we paddled some more and two giant sea turtles were within a few feet of us! It was amazing!
Later in the evening, Michael and I went on a walk with my little Daven. We walked over the LDS Temple grounds and went to the Visitor's Center, which was decorated with more than a dozen CHRISTmas trees. There was a slight breeze and it was refreshing and wonderful.
All in all, it was a near perfect day, with one exception, my dear Tolan is not here. He is still home in the cold and snow of Utah. If he had been here, it would have been a perfect day. Without him, it was close to perfection, but something was missing... :)
As my Mom and I went to the PCC for the meeting in which I gave my talk, I honestly thought that there can't be a more beautiful place on the Earth. The Polynesian Cultural Center grounds are simply stunning and more like paradise than just about anywhere else. The meeting, a PCC Christmas meeting on gratitude, was absolutely wonderful. All of the speakers and performers were fantastic. I was brought to tears many times throughout the meeting, feeling the CHRISTmas spirit in the words and music. I feel so blessed to have been there.
I spoke directly following a DVD presentation - a DVD that was created for me by the good people at the PCC when I was in the hospital over the summer. Watching it was both difficult and good for me, but it made it hard for me to stand with dry eyes. My remarks were also on gratitude, and seeing that I have so much to be grateful for this year, I could have gone on forever, but then the audience wouldn't have been happy, so I kept it to about 15 minutes. :)
I couldn't possibly keep my emotions in check on this one, but it was OK and seemed to help them understand a little more from my perspective. We tried to get some pictures of the event that I will post later. Overall it was a great meeting and I was honored to have been a part of it.
Later in the day I took the boys back to the PCC and we got shaved ice and played some games. I love it there. I could stay all day, just walking around, enjoying the beauty.
After that, the kids wanted to go to the beach, so their uncles, Michael and Brandon took us to Castle Beach, where they helped teach the kids to boogie board. (They offered to give surf lessons, but my guys were a little gun shy when they saw the waves.) After much time sitting on the side watching, I decided I would attempt to get in.
I had to go in without eye protection and I was worried about getting salt water in my eye, but the conditions were just right so Michael and I paddled out on boogie boards and rode the waves for a while. Then we paddled some more and two giant sea turtles were within a few feet of us! It was amazing!
Later in the evening, Michael and I went on a walk with my little Daven. We walked over the LDS Temple grounds and went to the Visitor's Center, which was decorated with more than a dozen CHRISTmas trees. There was a slight breeze and it was refreshing and wonderful.
All in all, it was a near perfect day, with one exception, my dear Tolan is not here. He is still home in the cold and snow of Utah. If he had been here, it would have been a perfect day. Without him, it was close to perfection, but something was missing... :)
Thursday, December 17, 2009
. . . . . . . . . .MRI Results!
People have been asking me for over 2 weeks now, "Have you heard the results from your MRI?" It's funny, but I haven't really been thinking about it, because I have just "felt" like everything was going to be OK.
Well, today I got the official word from Dr. Couldwell's office and I was told that everything looks good and I don't have to have another MRI for a year! That is even better than I would have anticipated! I don't have any more details than that because the information was left on my voice mail, so I wasn't able to ask questions and they didn't leave any more insider's information.
I think the feelings I've had have been a peace the Lord has blessed me with to know that I am getting better. I haven't worried about the tumor regrowing or future problems, I have just felt good about things. This peace has helped me to enjoy this beautiful CHRISTmas season without the turmoil and angst of wondering what was happening inside my head. (Thanks to my friend, Jason, whose use of the word CHRISTmas inspired me!)
Now I can put that behind me and move on with my CHRISTmas celebrations..oh yeah, did I mention I am enjoying those celebrations in Hawaii? :)
It's fun and wonderful to find warmth and love here in the Aloha state. I'm thoroughly enjoying my days on the beach and at the Polynesian Cultural Center (PCC). In fact, Thursday morning at 9am, I am speaking at the PCC. My topic: Gratitude. I could talk forever about that one...I have much to be grateful for! :)
Well, today I got the official word from Dr. Couldwell's office and I was told that everything looks good and I don't have to have another MRI for a year! That is even better than I would have anticipated! I don't have any more details than that because the information was left on my voice mail, so I wasn't able to ask questions and they didn't leave any more insider's information.
I think the feelings I've had have been a peace the Lord has blessed me with to know that I am getting better. I haven't worried about the tumor regrowing or future problems, I have just felt good about things. This peace has helped me to enjoy this beautiful CHRISTmas season without the turmoil and angst of wondering what was happening inside my head. (Thanks to my friend, Jason, whose use of the word CHRISTmas inspired me!)
Now I can put that behind me and move on with my CHRISTmas celebrations..oh yeah, did I mention I am enjoying those celebrations in Hawaii? :)
It's fun and wonderful to find warmth and love here in the Aloha state. I'm thoroughly enjoying my days on the beach and at the Polynesian Cultural Center (PCC). In fact, Thursday morning at 9am, I am speaking at the PCC. My topic: Gratitude. I could talk forever about that one...I have much to be grateful for! :)
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
. . . . . . . . . . .Seeking Warmth
I love it when the sun shines and warms my skin, my body and my soul. I can literally feel the warmth engulf me, as it radiates, first touching my "outsides" then touching my "insides". As it spreads, I can rest, relax, heal and love.
There is a warmth I love more than the strength and power of the sun, and that is the warmth and peace I feel from the love of my Savior. His spirit brings me joy that fills my whole being, and bursts out from me like rays shooting out from the sun. I can feel it when I hear the truth...in song, in scripture and in testimony. It warms me and tears well up in my eyes as my soul overflows with the waters of the gospel.
My friend, new to the gospel of Christ, told me that when she goes to church, she wants to cry the whole time she is there. At my home, listening to the scriptures and testimonies of Christ, she said her whole body felt "full" and "warm" and again, she wanted to cry. That feeling, the power of overwhelming love and comfort brings warmth to my life and carries me through my dark storms.
This month, I am seeking warmth. I am leaving the cold and seeking the warmth so that it may touch my skin, my body, my heart, my soul and my spirit. Will you join me? We can leave today and journey together. :)
There is a warmth I love more than the strength and power of the sun, and that is the warmth and peace I feel from the love of my Savior. His spirit brings me joy that fills my whole being, and bursts out from me like rays shooting out from the sun. I can feel it when I hear the truth...in song, in scripture and in testimony. It warms me and tears well up in my eyes as my soul overflows with the waters of the gospel.
My friend, new to the gospel of Christ, told me that when she goes to church, she wants to cry the whole time she is there. At my home, listening to the scriptures and testimonies of Christ, she said her whole body felt "full" and "warm" and again, she wanted to cry. That feeling, the power of overwhelming love and comfort brings warmth to my life and carries me through my dark storms.
This month, I am seeking warmth. I am leaving the cold and seeking the warmth so that it may touch my skin, my body, my heart, my soul and my spirit. Will you join me? We can leave today and journey together. :)
Saturday, December 12, 2009
. . . . . . . . Only in Time
Six months ago today...
I was lying in a hospital bed, attempting to eat small bites of actual food, not "IV Nutrition" fed through tubes.
The pain was intense, but lessened from it's peak.
Loving company surrounded me and helped buoy my spirit.
Therapists came and tried to teach me to walk again. Not something you forget, but definitely something you need to practice.
Walking spiked a headache; I "hurried" to my room to rest.
Thoughts of my home kept coming to my mind... When will I go home to my family? Will I be able to be Mom again soon? Will my kids understand my limitations? Will they know that I want to pick them up and hug them, but I simply cannot? Will they get used to my new appearance and accept me as I am now? Will they ever know how much I really love them?
It was so long ago, and yet just yesterday in my mind. Six months ago, I was nearing the end of the first phase of my tumor journey, I was preparing to leave the hospital, all 93 pounds of me that was left. I was weak, but I was strong.
Today I am safe at home surrounded by love and comforts enough to spare. Life can change in an instant. Someday I will be able to get through a day without thinking about "all of this", but that is not today. Only in time will my trials become my past. For now, they are my daily reality and the fuel behind the fire that keeps me going. Six months ago I was healing, today I am healing still.
This post was inspired by Stephanie Clark Nielson's blog, www.nieniedialogues.blogspot.com . Her flashback post prompted my own reflections on time.
I was lying in a hospital bed, attempting to eat small bites of actual food, not "IV Nutrition" fed through tubes.
The pain was intense, but lessened from it's peak.
Loving company surrounded me and helped buoy my spirit.
Therapists came and tried to teach me to walk again. Not something you forget, but definitely something you need to practice.
Walking spiked a headache; I "hurried" to my room to rest.
Thoughts of my home kept coming to my mind... When will I go home to my family? Will I be able to be Mom again soon? Will my kids understand my limitations? Will they know that I want to pick them up and hug them, but I simply cannot? Will they get used to my new appearance and accept me as I am now? Will they ever know how much I really love them?
It was so long ago, and yet just yesterday in my mind. Six months ago, I was nearing the end of the first phase of my tumor journey, I was preparing to leave the hospital, all 93 pounds of me that was left. I was weak, but I was strong.
Today I am safe at home surrounded by love and comforts enough to spare. Life can change in an instant. Someday I will be able to get through a day without thinking about "all of this", but that is not today. Only in time will my trials become my past. For now, they are my daily reality and the fuel behind the fire that keeps me going. Six months ago I was healing, today I am healing still.
This post was inspired by Stephanie Clark Nielson's blog, www.nieniedialogues.blogspot.com . Her flashback post prompted my own reflections on time.
Friday, December 11, 2009
. . . . . . . . Prayers Please!
PLEASE pray for my dear friend Jason Reynolds. He is the one I visited in the hospital on Tuesday. His doctors don't know what to do to help his dire condition, and without help, the outlook is not good.
See Jason's story at http://www.jasonslifeisgood.blogspot.com/ . Please say extra prayers for him and his family. Just 6 months ago, I was in the hospital fighting for my life. Jason has been fighting for his life for 5 years! Please pray for him, his doctors and the medical staff.
Let's all make a miracle for Jason! Thanks. Love you all. Jodi
See Jason's story at http://www.jasonslifeisgood.blogspot.com/ . Please say extra prayers for him and his family. Just 6 months ago, I was in the hospital fighting for my life. Jason has been fighting for his life for 5 years! Please pray for him, his doctors and the medical staff.
Let's all make a miracle for Jason! Thanks. Love you all. Jodi
Thursday, December 10, 2009
. . . . . . . .Christmas Day!
It is almost the weekend again, but I still need to let you know about the wonderful time we had celebrating the Brown Family Christmas last weekend! Due to some travel plans by family members, we had our Christmas early, very early in fact. Saturday (December 5) was our Christmas Eve and Sunday was our Christmas Day.
Saturday evening the kids got to open their traditional Christmas Eve gift, a new pair of PJs. These gifts inspired some Kung Fu fighting at our house, since Casen's new jammies reminded everyone of a ninja. :) After the fighting was over, I let all the kids decorate their own cakes for Christmas. I made several colors of frosting and we all made fabulous cake creations. It was a fun night with cute jammies and the kids were excited for their Christmas the next day!
Saturday evening the kids got to open their traditional Christmas Eve gift, a new pair of PJs. These gifts inspired some Kung Fu fighting at our house, since Casen's new jammies reminded everyone of a ninja. :) After the fighting was over, I let all the kids decorate their own cakes for Christmas. I made several colors of frosting and we all made fabulous cake creations. It was a fun night with cute jammies and the kids were excited for their Christmas the next day!
The kids opening their Christmas Eve presents!
A little kung fu fighting anyone??
Lots of wiggles and excitement on Christmas Eve!
Decorating cakes for the big day! Lots of fun colors to choose from!
All the cake creations on display!
Getting ready for Christmas day!
Christmas was a wonderful day for all of us. We went to church, then came home and had our celebration in the evening. Tolan's parents, Larry and Kay, joined us for the festivities and brought presents to add to our stack. I was a little worried that the kids wouldn't think it felt like Christmas, but after a few minutes of tearing into gifts and getting wrapping paper everywhere, it seemed just right. It was truly a wonderful time for our family!
The peace and quiet before the big event.
What is it with packaging these days? Mom and dad had to use scissors and knives to get the gifts out of the boxes for the kids! Geesh!
Trenden showing off his new game. 
Casen dancing with Grandpa Brown watching merrily on the couch.
Me and my sweetheart, cuddling on the couch.
Darling Daven playing with his new light saber. How do they just know what to do when you put a sword or toy gun in their hands??
With the Christmas songs playing, treats to eat, family to enjoy and the fireplace keeping everyone warm, we truly felt the spirit of Christmas. We talked about Jesus Christ and His birth, and the presents we could give Him this year. I am so grateful for my darling children and my amazing husband this Christmas season. We are so blessed to know and love our Savior and celebrate His birth!
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