Monday, December 7, 2009

. . . . . . . . . Am I Normal?

We had a very special weekend which I will post about later when I have enough time to do justice to the topic. But yesterday, at church, I had an interesting conversation with an older gentleman that has made me think.

He has followed my "story" at church, though not read details here on my blog. He prayed for me, called me from time to time and congratulates me nearly every time I see him. This time, he asked me a question that was so simple, "How does it feel to be normal again?" I wasn't sure what to say about that, because, well, I don't feel normal.

My face is appearing more normal these days, so I am told all the time. That is wonderful and the answer to many prayers! And, when I am in public, I always try to be happy, positive and upbeat, partly because that is just who I am. But, am I normal? I don't feel like I am at all. I still have many issues that I am dealing with, though they are things that the world probably doesn't "see" from my physical appearance. With the exception on here on the blog, we deal with our challenges privately, with support from wonderful family and friends.

So I began to wonder, am I normal? Am I back to "normal" life? Some would say I have never been normal, and that is OK, too. A simple but strange thought to consider. Am I normal? Are you normal? What the heck is normal anyway?? Think on this and let me know what you think!


Els Manning said...

i think normal is all about quote Jason! It depends on how someone sees it. My normal is not your normal. That one was explained well in a class i took to become certified for foster care.
It showed a slide of a terrible dirty messy house. Yet this was normal to the kids living there. And so for them my house ( a little cleaner ha!) would not be normal.
So it's how you as a person would define normal. I look at you and i don't see a normal person. I see a super strong human being...! So gracious, and classy...not the norm.
However glad that you are looking more Normal...just because it's easier to be accepted that way...? I assume. And really a different question is do we want to be normal?

wjmom said...

Nothing and no one is normal. Normal is all subjective. I think my inlaws are strange and my family is normal. They think I am strange and they are normal.

When each of our babies was born, I looked forward to feeling "normal." My definition of normal was never the same, because my life was changed. But at some point it felt normal, regular, routine, and that is a blessed, wonderful feeling!

So maybe you haven't reached "normal" yet. But normal will never be the same as it was a year ago, will it? But normal will come to you, to your mind, to your heart. And while it will be very different from how it was in 2008, it will be every bit as wonderful!

Nichole Giles said...

I agree that normal is subjective to perspective. (Sorry, couldn't resist!)

Believe it or not, this subject--this type of discussion--is a regular occurrence among writers, artists, and musicians. Is it normal to hear voices in your head telling you stories? Is it normal to dream about lying in a meadow with a vampire? Is it normal to make up songs while you clean your house or color pictures (at age 40) while you listen in church?

Who decides what is normal and what isn't? Who decides what something should look like or how someone should act in order to "fit into" a normal category? And who makes those boundaries?

Here's the answer: There is no such thing as normal.

Normal= an empty word which takes meaning only from the one person who uses it. (And even then, it very likely changes daily.)

So, if you don't feel normal, don't say normal. Don't claim it or ask it or pretend. Instead, ask yourself, "How does it feel to be alive? How does it feel to have more time with my family than I might otherwise have had? How does it feel to be loved by so many people?"

If it were me, the answer would be the same for every question: "A-maz-ing!" There is no normal in that. Nope, you aren't normal. But then, neither am I. Thank goodness!!!

Tami said...

I think it is okay to tell people you don't feel back to your old self quite yet. People only see what you show them, they don't see you at home everyday with your struggles, so to them you might seem "normal."

I don't think you have ever been normal...I think you are better than that! :-)

Anonymous said...

Normal= over rated! You are you, doing your best to be the best you you can be, right? :) I hope you and your family enjoy the holidays and that you feel well, whether its normal or not.

Sarah ONeill

Carolyn said...

Everyone has different perspectives of what normal means to them. I can relate to what Els said about foster care. David and I were foster parents for a year before we knew we were moving to Hawaii. In the orientation class a social worker said "what is normal for the foster children may not be considered normal for us..etc..." I was like "oh, wow." It put whole lot of perspectives on what "normal" is. I don't think there is a set norm for what "normal" is..ask people and you get an array of different opinions.
Happy day,