Tolan and I are still on Cloud 9 after our positive appointment with Dr. Couldwell on Monday. The words "best case scenario" keep coming to my mind and I am so grateful that things are going as well as they are. Yesterday I became even more grateful as we visited with some friends who put a different perspective on things. My mom's friends from Hawaii (Kinghorns) were in town and stopped by to say hi. Ed Kinghorn is a professor at BYUH and though I don't remember his exact title, I know it is "Neuro" something, meaning his specialty is the brain. Though he told us that he never expressed this to my parents, he confided in his family the truth of my situation upon hearing it. When he found out where the tumor was and what it was affecting, he said to his wife, "She's toast" and explained there was no way I was going to be able to survive a tumor in that location.
And yet, here I am. Forgive me for continuing to express that I think miracles have happened, but each day I come to grips with the fact that my own mortality was truly hanging in the balance just a few weeks ago, and today I am a "best case scenario". After following my story, seeing me yesterday and hearing my doctor's updates, Ed Kinghorn said another profound statement, "Well, you had half the world praying for you, so you ought to be a miracle!"
I know that not every medical (or other crisis) ends in a miracle. Babies, children, teens, moms, dads and grandparents die everyday. I have felt the deep sadness surrounding these events. I know that these families suffer deeply and may not understand the "purpose" of the death of their loved one. They may question or blame God. Though I can understand the emotions, I can never question. I truly know God has a plan for each of us, and though we may not know where our road leads, He does. Sometimes I think He gives us miracles as a reminder that He really is there, loving us and looking out for us. It is the divinity of God and our Savior that allows us to experience miracles, feel a touch of heaven, and know that we have a chance to get back to live with them and our families again someday. How blessed I am for this knowledge!
So, no matter how "old" it may get for some to hear (especially my family who hears it all the time), I truly know that angels have been with me and my life is a blessing and miracle. I may have been to hell and back, but it was worth it to know of the blessings of God and our Savior. I know they love me and would have welcomed me home with open arms...I felt that peace, but it was not my time. It was a time for miracles instead. :) Thank you for being part of a miracle for me.