Sunday, August 22, 2010

. . . . . . The Beginning, Middle or End??

I have long been debating the end... Not the end of the world or any doomsday topic like that, but rather the natural "end" to this stage of my life. For nearly 2 years, my life has been ruled by doctor's appointments, tests, shots, scans, surgeries, recoveries, and medications. But more than all of these things, as the name of the blog indicates, my life has been full of MIRACLES.

I know that many of you are to thank for the miracles. You are the ones who have prayed for, fasted for, cried for and loved me when I needed it the most. Thank you.

The truth is, I am doing so much better now that I sometimes feel guilty "taking" anything more for myself. I believe I have had the miracles I sought from God, so perhaps this phase of my life is coming to an end. The miracles, I believe will never cease, but maybe "A Miracle for Jodi Brown" should. Perhaps it is time to end the blog, so I can turn all my attention back to my family.

When I contemplate this question, I find myself asking one main thing, "Who are you writing the blog for?" Is this for me? Is this for you? Is this for my family? The answer is, yes, to all three. The blog is a place where I can be totally honest with how I am feeling at any moment, I can shed my tears, invest my hopes, pray for miracles and vent to the world, all in my "little" online universe. It is extremely helpful and therapeutic for me, especially on the really hard days.

Someday, I also hope my children and family will be able to read my words, and yours, and know there is a loving God who cares deeply about each of us, and our struggles. I also want them to know that people are good, and they help each other, even those they do not know.

I also have to admit that I have grown to love all of you. I love the "you've got mail" feeling of seeing that some of you have left comments for me to read. They lift my spirits, make me laugh and help me remember what is important in life. Not to mention, they have kept me going when times were really tough. I also enjoy the relationships I have with so many of you, who have emailed, left comments, sent cards and love as you have gone on this journey with me. Some days, I am only thinking of you when I write.

The dichotomy is that I both dread and look forward to the end. I look forward to being WHOLE and fully investing ALL of myself in my family again, but I also dread the thought of losing all of you, as you are so dear to my heart, whether we know each other or not. But, I also wonder if I have "anything" left that is worthy of your precious time and attention.

So, what do YOU think? Where are we on this little timeline of blog life? The beginning, middle or end?? My love to all of you. :)

12 comments:

britt said...

I will be thinking of you no matter where you choose to spend and invest your thoughts & time.
I want you to know how inspiring YOU have been through this blog and how much your words have blessed and enriched MY life. thank you, truly and deeply!
much Aloha

Ogden Family said...

Hey Jodi,
I am glad that we got to meet through your blog and I think that even if you want to close this chapter of your life, you should open a new one with just fun info about you and the fam! It is very therapeutic and a way of keeping a journal. Thanks for inspiring so many of us and hope we can keep in contact.
Love to you, Heather Ogden

Tamra said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tami said...

I think you should keep a blog, but not "A Miracle For Jodi Brown" anymore. I was actually thinking about suggesting a change to you the other day...A family blog perhaps. :-)

Julie Johnson said...

I think it should be the end of "A Miracle for Jodi Brown" and the beginning of a new blog. I enjoy reading about you and your family. We miss you guys and it helps me feel in touch.

Pam said...

I strongly want you to continue your blog, Jodi, unless it is simply too much for you these days.

JulieBurns said...

I am so glad I have had the chance to get to know you through your blog. It is inspiring and you are a fantastic writer. You should do what is right for you in the end. If it helps you, keep it up. If it is getting mundane for you, be done with it. Whatever you decide will be the right thing to do. Keep up the good fight Jodi, and thank you so much for sharing with all of us! Julie Burns

Pam said...

P.S. Your Miracle for Jodi Brown is not complete.If it were, you wouldn't need to ask us whether to end it; you would simply announce the end.

annie said...

For my own selfish reasons I want you to keep blogging. I love your blog Jodi. Your musings have been such an inspiration to me. You will never know!

Ultimately, do what is best for you and your family. Happy Huggs and much love to you my beautiful blond friend!

wjmom said...

Do any of us really have an end to any particular journey in life? Our experiences define us.

I love you. I love your blog. I would love to hear from you every single day.

I love you. I love your blog. You should do what is best for you.

carolyn said...

Aloha Jodi, I've enjoyed reading your blog. You have been an inspiration to me (and to all those who read your blog). Your thoughts have enriched my life. I thank you tons! Your blog has been such a therapeutic part of your life. Its a decision you'll have to make and what's best for you. I have enjoyed reading your blog and updates on your family. Keep in touch! You and your family are LOVED!!! aloha nui loa and hugs....Carolyn

angel youngblood-chick said...

As to ending "A Miracle for Jodi" That is for you to decide, however I want you to know you have been my MIRACLE. I have MS and often wonder if it is selfish of me to pray for a miracle when I am in relapse. You see I am an older lady who has raised her family and now their families have families. Then I stumbled upon your blog. I have followed your families journey and prayed for you all daily. In doing this I realized my family had just grown to include you and yours. No I have never met any of you but I will someday. I also found that through praying for you little miracles occurred for me. So if you decide to turn your time and attention to your family I know you will still be my miracle as you opened my eyes to seeing my journey is not over and my prayers should be for others and their needs as well as my own. I read your concern for others more than concern for yourself in each blog post and am thankful you will be able to share your children's journey through life the same as I did. Sometimes our journey is a little crooked but still we complete it as we were intended to. So enjoy your life be thankful for your faith and Thank you for sharing a small part of your journey with me. Your
Texas Friend, Angel