Monday, August 9, 2010

. . . . . Spinning Around

Nearly 18 months ago, not knowing what was going on inside my head, I put a status update on my Facebook account that simply stated, "Jodi is dizzy." An old friend that I haven't seen in years jokingly replied, "Then stop spinning around in circles."

How I wish I could stop spinning now. The medications I am on following my surgery have several side effects, and in pure Jodi fashion, I am experiencing many of them. I am quite dizzy, off balance and have headaches again. It is eerily reminiscent to my condition last year before my brian surgery. Not wanting to go back there again, I will gladly take this instead. Still, I hope that as I finish my meds in the next few days/weeks, I will be able to put my head on straight and stop spinning around in circles.

And, selfishly, I want the process to go faster. The doctors told me it would take 2-3 weeks for my body to feel better and 3 months for my eye to look normal. In the scheme of things, that is nothing. And, in reality, I am progressing much faster than they had hoped. But, last night I couldn't help but wish I could just be totally healed, all at once. I know that is selfish, for there are so many whose maladies are so much harder and worse than my own right now, but sometimes I still feel that way. I want to be me again, in body and spirit. Funny how one day I can feel so blessed for my body, the next so overcome by it not working the way I want it to.

Agh, enough wallowing. Thank you again for all the wonderful notes of encouragement and love. It is your prayers and faith that have helped get me this far, so I should not complain to you, but rather, simply say "Thank You", dear friends for your support.


Anonymous said...

Jo, You are looking beautiful!! I miss you so much! Thanks for mentioning my difficulties and asking for prayers on my behalf. You have no idea how much that means to me, Steven and Cory. I love you and just wish we were neighbors and I could walk around the corner and talk...ah, the good days. :) I am so proud of you...not only do you have beautiful eyes, and you can blink now, but you have continued to exhibit amazing strength.
All my love,
Your sis Kristi

britt said...

you have total right to wallow and just vent. YOU have been through more than most of us will in a life time, and you have done it with such strength, determination and courage. YOU are my strength, my example, and help me appreciate the simple pleasures I SHOULD be enjoying. Hang in there! No matter the outcome you are a beauty inside and out!!
I miss you

Pam said...

Jodi, please leave the word selfish out of your self-descriptions! Of course you want to be normal again. Calling yourself selfish is absurd, even if everyone on earth is sicker than you are. It is normal and we are all wishing it for you, too. Are we the only ones who are allowed to wish it for you? No way. You go right ahead and pray for what you want. I suspect God loves that truthfulness.