Friday, November 20, 2009

. . . . . . . . . Thanksgiving: Listening Ears and Tears

Thanksgiving Day #5: Listening Ears and Tears

It is probably good for me to "have" to do my thanksgiving list today. The last 24 hours have been somewhat frustrating and disappointing for me. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday at the University of Utah Hospital. It was a 6-month follow-up from my first craniotomy. I had a hearing test done, followed by the appointment with Dr. Shelton.

I had an enjoyable ride there with Larry, which is always a highlight for me. But, the appt itself left me with very mixed emotions. My hearing has improved a little, which I knew and am very grateful for. However, my paralysis isn't improving at the rate "expected". For my condition, 90% of the improvements to my facial nerves will likely come within the first 12 months from the initial paralysis. So, this time, instead of saying "I am totally confident you will regain all your facial movement", the tone changed to "here is what we can do if you don't get better".

The list of alternatives included more surgeries for my eye (either a larger weight in my eyelid, or a spring-loaded spring in my eyelid help it close. The latter would have to be performed in Los Angeles.) and potential surgery for my nose. I still can't breathe well out of my nose, but there is a procedure that can take cartilage from my ear and implant it in my nose to help my breathing.

It is good that their are options, but sometimes I don't want alternatives, I just want to get better.

After my appt, I was disappointed and frustrated. However, today I find myself feeling grateful that I have such wonderful family and friends who allow me to vent, cry and feel frustrated. They listen to me without judging and help me keep perspective. They know who they are, and I appreciate them more than they know.

It was also wonderful to see Dr. Shelton and Dr. Orlandi again. They have done so much for my care, it is hard to see them and not throw my arms around them in a big thank you hug. (I did ask Dr. Shelton for a hug. :) Still so much to be grateful for...


Els Manning said...

sorry you didnt get the instant fix...
There really is not much to say. I can not imagine walking in your shoes. I have such respect for you. You are such a gracious lady. And i love you.

Tina said...

Many times, when I read your blog, I don't know what to say, and I say nothing. I hope you know that reading your blog is an inspiration to many, even when we don't comment. I think of you not only because of the huge challenges you've faced this year, but also for the small disappointments that come as you travel along this path. Much love to you and your family throughout this Thanksgiving and Christmas season, Jodi.

Nichole Giles said...

Ya know, sometimes things don't turn out the way we thought they would, or the way we hoped they would, or the way we want them to be. But don't give up hope, because very often these things end up being a blessing in disguise, and after an undisclosed amount of time, we reap so many more benefits than we ever could've imagined.

Hang in there, Jodi. Your day will come.