What to say, what to say? Many friends and neighbors have asked me in the last few days how I am doing. Right now I am not quite sure what to say. Am I getting better, yes, I am still getting better. But do I feel well? Hmm, not so much right now.
This week I have been plagued by terrible headaches all week. They have made it difficult for me to get "good" rest and my whole body is achy and in knots. Not fun. My wonderful hubby, Tolan, is giving me back massages daily, to try and release the tension in my body. Thank heavens for Tolan, he is my ideal man, in so many ways. He will always do whatever he can to help me, from massage, to putting me to bed early and taking care of the kids, to insisting I get in the hot tub and relax (which I always enjoy). So, without my amazing spouse, I am sure I would be feeling much worse. As it I am now, I am doing OK, but not as good as I'd like.
Friday was my hardest day in months. Part of the day was very good, and I had a great lunch visit from my dear friend, Noellee. We ate, chatted and reminisced. We will be friends forever, I just know it. :) In the afternoon, my parents came to visit, in town from Hawaii. I so looked forward to their visit, but I just didn't feel as well as I had hoped. We still had a good time together, but they could both tell I was suffering. Dad's magic hands worked on my back for a long time, and mom insisted I take a rest while she watched the kids. All of this definitely helped.
That evening Tolan and I were lucky enough to go with mom and dad to a dinner about the Polynesian Cultural Center and BYUH. It was a wonderful evening, at a wonderful couples' home. Everyone who spoke did a fantastic job and we could truly feel the Spirit of God in the room. BYUH and the PCC are truly "blessed" places, where the Lord is able to touch His children's hearts and minds. We were so glad to have been there. Sadly, I felt terrible the whole evening. It was my worst night in about 3 months. I hate to take heavy pain meds, but didn't have much choice that night, though they made me feel dizzy and "spinning" all night, without relieving much of the pain.
So, where does that leave me now? Well, I need to find some way to relax my body and get the rest I need so I can continue my recovery. My parents have a theory that a massage chair will help, so I am checking into that option. In the meantime, I am trying to go to bed early (trying being the key word) and praying for deep, restful sleep that will allow my body to heal.
Still, I am not upset, depressed or anything of the sort. I am blessed and my life is miraculous on a regular basis. So, though I may be having a rough spell, I still know that life is wonderful and I constantly feel surrounded by love. As my good friend Jason (jasonslifeisgood.blogspot.com) always says, "It is all about perspective" and I have been through enough to know that this is but a small blip on a wonderful, adventurous journey!
5 comments:
I feel like I have been a lousy friend lately, and haven't come to see you or done anything for you in a LONG time. Please forgive me?! I hope you have better days to come and a massage chair does sounds like a great idea!
Mom and Dad told me the idea about a massage chair...do you want me to call your insurance for you and plead your case? :-)
I still think you are doing super awesome considering all the yuck you have to deal with everyday. I told my Relief Society today how wonderful you are and how we need to be grateful for the little things...I told them you can't do all of those "things" right now like you wish you could. :-(
Love Ya tons!
I think life is full of ups and downs, and right now you get to have the downs equal in portion to about what a thousand people should have. Personally, it doesn't sound very fair. Really, it seems like the best people are the ones who have the toughest trials.
But on the other hand, look at how well you're passing the test anyway? Even on a terrible and painful day like Friday, you still continue to find the positive, to see the good, and be grateful for what is going well for you.
This is what the refiner's fire is all about. The process stinks! But you come through on the other side having learned lessons and felt feelings that very, very few people will ever experience. And knowing you, you'll probably stick your arms in the air and tell the adversary to bring it on!
Anyway, it's admirable. Love ya!
I had hoped to chat with you for a sec at church. But nursey kept me longer, and i did see you talk to others. Good people check on you. And keep track of you. Hang in there...
And keep working on that new talent youre learning to develop..um what was it called again..oh yeah , patience! Ha...j/k. But it's got to be sooo hard to want to do it all. And and NOW ! I can imagine... But really give your body the courtesy to heal. Time... such an amazing thing. You are still in my prayers, and in those of so many caring people. Those massage chairs are amazing! Really...Worth a try. Do call if you need me...
Ah Jodi. You are illuminating me on the moment-by-moment torment you endure. I am in such admiration of your long-suffering. My prayers are strong for you to finsally feel well.
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