Thursday, October 8, 2009

Cloudy and Cold

Today was not one of my best days. I had a horrible "recovery" headache when I went to bed last night and I didn't sleep well at all. (I am hoping for a different scenario tonight.) When I got up this morning to get the kids off to school, it was cloudy and overcast outside. Somehow, it felt as though the clouds crept into me, darkening my day, as well.

I have such a hard time getting around these days that when I am able to see to drive, or get someone to take me out, I try to accomplish many things in one trip. Today was no different. My last stop of the morning errands was to grab a bite of food before getting Casen to preschool. Without going into all the details, a group of grown men were across the room, staring me down during my entire time there. I don't know why they were staring, but as I attempted to eat (and with the facial paralysis that can be tricky and embarrassing for me at times) I could feel their stares and laughter coming right at me. Their cruel looks and taunting eyes even followed me to my car as I loaded kids into their carseats. The stares and laughter were so hurtful I wanted to cry.

As I drove home, the cold invaded my body and all I could think about was how I wanted to be normal again, or at least be "me" again (some would say I have never been "normal" :). Usually I laugh these things off, join in the "joke" and don't let them bother me, but today, it hurt.

Luckily, I have caring and loving friends and family who help me remember that those moments are less about me and more about the sad people doing the taunting. Thanks Scott, Jason, Dorothea and my hubby Tolan, for getting me through that short, cold storm.

The good thing about storms is that they clear the air and make way for the sun to shine again. So, that is my hope for tomorrow, a brighter, sunnier day. Happily, my little Daven is running around the house playing games with his daddy, and those sounds are sure to chase away any clouds that might be lingering in the air. My sweet family is truly a blessing in my crazy life!


Steph said...

We love you Jodi. You are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your feelings and challenges and gratitude of life. I learn so much from you and your experiences. You and your family are in our prayers every day.

Perla said...

its interesting that i can have people do things to me and i can deal with it but when it happens to people i care about, it makes me feel angry! it makes me want to be there to walk up to those guys and slap them. but i know that is not what you want and, like i say, when it happens to me--which it does--i cope with it and think that it is disappointing that some people act like that. so, thanks for helping me find a weakness to work on. i'm so sorry you had a rough day. hoping for sunshine tomorrow!

Anonymous said...

You are an inspiration and such a great example for many especially me!! I hope and pray for a better day for you tomorrow. It should be exciting and less cloudy since your mom and dad are in town!
Love you and thinking of you and your family always!!

britt said...

SO sorry you had that experience, but hope today is not so cloudy and that you remember what an amazing person you are, despite how some creeps may make you feel otherwise!!

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry Jodi. Some people are so cruel. I can understand if little kids are staring in question, but come on, adults?? How pathetic. Didn't their mothers teach them? I'm sorry, but that just makes me angry. You are beautiful, wonderful, amazing, and tough. I commend you for walking away with diginity. I'm not sure I could have. Love, Annette

annie said...

Thank you Jodi for sharing your life with us. I am touched by each and every post. You cause me to evaluate and reflect on my own life and the things that I need to be doing for my family and others. Have a relaxing weekend with you family. Happy Huggs!

shari said...

I read your posts all the time but never leave comments. Not because I don't care because I do. I just have a hard time expressing how I feel. I just wanted you to know much I appreciate the example you set for others. You have always been an inspiration to me and now when I read your posts I cry or get excited right along with you. You amaze me!!
Shari Porter