Monday, February 1, 2010

. . . . . . . . Yelling Moms, Singing Angels

Tonight I was frustrated and totally worn out. I didn't get the amount of help I wanted in straightening up, and so I blew up at my kids and yelled.

Why do I do this? I have promised myself over and over again that I won't yell at my kids, and each time I mean it.

Tonight when nearly everyone was crying, Tolan said something like, "Everyone takes their cue from Mom." And, as much as I hate to admit it, it's true. I set the tone for the family, so when I am frustrated and in tears, so are they.

So, now the little ones are in bed, my eyes are dry from tears, I am "sane" again, I am promising myself, yet again, that I will do better tomorrow.

All of this because Mom was more focused on the house than the Home.

As I tucked Daven into bed, he said his sweet prayers and sounded like an angel, my little angel. This is why it is so worth it being a mom, even on the hard days.

Here is D, last night, singing the chorus of "I Am A Child of God". (Interpretation: Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way. Teach me all that I must do, to live with Him someday. )


Els Manning said...

Face it, you are human after all...we all have days like that. And in the end, it's the way we decide we try to do better the next time is what matters....hang in there. Don't be so hard on yourself. Just make sure the kiddo's remember you are their mommy the human that loves them sooo much. And has her limits too. I actually have become pretty good at apologizing to my last one at home...i guess practice make...ah you know what i mean. It's all good. You are a fabulous mom. And they know it. get some rest, and have a fresh start tomorrow. love you...

Perla said...

thanks for sharing that, jodi. its nice to know that we all struggle with the same things sometimes. jason has said nearly the same thing as tolan to me before and i totally now its true. if i am happy, its so much easier for everybody to be happy (although maybe they still have a fit or too), but if i'm upset...there is little to zero chance that anybody else in the house will be happy. it can be an overwhelming feeling sometime...but also a huge, eyeopening reminder of the sacredness and import of our calling. and interesting, too...the times i usually lose my cool are when i am focusing on my house and the things in it, rather than the people that make it! thanks for the good reminder for all of us to try harder tomorrow!

Kara said...

Wow I could have been writing this post! I feel the exact same way lately. I get upset and then it just makes Kambri more upset! And then I feel like crap and think I really need to try harder. I want to be a good Mom! I'm glad that I know my friends are going through the same thing as me:) Good luck, I know you are a wonderful Mommy!

Tami said...

I sometimes like reading these posts more than some of your others. It seems more real life...I tried the video and it wouldn't work for me.

britt said...

Jodi, this is my constant struggle. I am amazed that it only happens ONCE IN A WHILE for you, because it is a daily challenge for me, that I constantly pray for help with, but then continue to fall short!
And I KNOW I set the mood within our home, which puts more pressure on MY shoulders! It really does no good to get upset, because they just follow my lead :)
But at least we are trying right, and willing to admit our shor comings!!

carolyn said...

I hear you on this one. Els, says it...'we are humans after all..and we have days like that'...I know I am always hard on myself. I am quick to apologize and do something fun with my kids and let them know that I am not always perfect I have shortcomings, too. You are great mom and Tolan's a great dad, too!!!! together have beautiful and well mannered children who have great sense of humor in their little lives. Count your many blessings!!